Natural Does Not Equal Healthy

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/06/16/zicam.fda.warning/index.html

In brief, 3 of the nasally-applied Zicam products (which are sold as supplements, and therefore not regulated by the FDA) may be causing people to lose their sense of smell. The FDA has urged patients to stop taking the products, and has notified the manufacturer that they will not be allowed to market these products without FDA approval.

My favorite part of this article:

On its Web site, however, Matrixx says the allegations are "unfounded and misleading."

The company contends that "there is no known causal link between the use of Zicam Cold Remedy nasal gel and impairment of smell. No well-controlled scientific study has demonstrated a potential cause-and-effect relationship between the use of Zicam and diminished smell function. No court cases have revealed any reliable evidence of any causal relationship."

Well, whaddaya know! They know how to play ball! They may not have to do "well-controlled scientific [studies]" to prove that their homeopathic product works, but they want the FDA to produce one to prove it hurts people!

Does Zicam cause anosmia? I have no idea. Matrixx is correct that there is no current proof of a causal relationship. However, if we regulated these supplementary products, at least for safety if not for efficacy, then we'd likely know the answer to this question. Not that it matters, as I've never used the stuff, but as I like to be able to stop and smell the roses (or at least my gardenias), then I will probably avoid Zicam--just to be safe. One fewer day of cold symptoms or a lifetime of not being able to enjoy eating as much... not much of a choice, in my book.

The Key to Mental Health

I've decided that the one of the best ways to be mentally healthy is to garden. By this I mean I'm tired, cranky, burned out, and counting down my remaining calls, but when I drive home, I get out of my car, go into my yard, and just smile. I keep buying more and more plants to plant because it just makes me happy to putz around in the dirt. Yes, my ancestors were farmers, but I've never felt like I was particularly good at growing things until recently. My flowers are blooming, my trees are finally upright and that lovely dark green, and my herbs are tasty (I bought this the other day and it is AWESOME).I'll be making an announcement at some point on here, but I haven't decided how I'm going to do it yet. No, I'm not pregnant, nor did I get pregnant and sneak off to give birth, nor did I adopt a Malawian baby. For now, I'm just going to put up some pictures of my plants:

What is Wrong with America

I'll admit to occasionally getting sucked into reality TV. I used to watch America's Next Top Model with some girlfriends religiously. I'm not really a fan, but I understand the appeal of mindless entertainment.

Today, while at the gym, one of the TV's was tuned to "A Real Chance of Love", a new reality dating show on VH1. Apparently, these two charming brothers who weren't classy enough for New York were chosen for this show. Their names? "Real" and "Chance", hence the title of the show. (I must say, these were two of the most ghetto-ed out guys on TV). The episode I saw involved 7 of the women (who are largely split into "Real's girls" and "Chance's girls", but there seems to be some overlap) going to a club with the guys, only the guys get into a fight with a dude who has the nerve to hit on one of the (scantily-clad) ladies. The guys are "Pissed!" at this dude, so they talk smack, dude talks smack, dude pushes, brothers take him down. One of them hits dude on the head with a glass bottle. Girls are pushed out the door into their stretch limo by the producers. In the car on the ride home, they hold hands and pray to Jesus for their "boys".

(It gets better)

Upon arrival at their house, the police are waiting. They individually question the girls, on camera of course, as to what they saw. Who hit the dude with the glass bottle? they ask repeatedly. They threaten to make the girls accessories to murder if the guy dies. Some girls cry, some say "so and so did it" and then change their story, one girl flat out says "guy x did it". One girl says "I'm not talking to you" and walks out, and one girl says "I didn't see nuthin', they pushed us out the door." The guy who did the hitting is locked up in cuffs and dragged out.

Surprise! His brother pops up and says it was all a joke, a challenge! The cops come back in and laugh, and dude walks in--he's fine. The brothers wanted a "Ride or Die" kind of girl (which is the title of the episode), the kind of girl who is loyal to the end and will never give up her man. The challenge winners? The one who just didn't say anything and the one who lied and said she didn't see nothing. The other girls were pissed. "I never talked to no cops before! I got no experience with police interrogation! It's not fair!" says one. The girl who told the truth to the cops is angry that they played with her emotions like that, and ends up getting booted off the show at the end of the episode.

My brain almost imploded on itself.

Not a single one of them mentioned anything about the truth or seemed to give a crap that (for all they knew) a guy was dying in the hospital. It's all well and good that the one chick simply refused to talk to the cops--that's her constitutional right. Any one of these girls could have said "I want a lawyer" and I'd have cheered them on. But for all the rest to straight up lie--if they'd been in a real police situation, that would have gotten them in far deeper trouble. After the fact, they were pissed because they'd never had the chance to lie to cops before, it was hard! The one girl who just told the truth was booted out of the house for not being loyal enough. And I just kept thinking, while watching them pray for their boys, that Jesus would want nothing to do with this situation. These ghetto guys, sitting around with their skanky women, got so mad that a guy dared to flirt with one of their ladies (and who would assume that 7 women all belong to 2 men?) that a fight ensued. Yes, it was all staged, but these girls believed it was all real, and they didn't find it weird!

Truly, the next great health campaign, in the spirit of "Just Say No to Drugs" from Nancy Reagan, needs to be "Get Rid of Terrible 'Reality' TV". Either that, or I'm going to have to put a condom over the television to protect my eyeballs from that kind of syphilitic programming.

The Almighty Defibrillator

And now, to change the subject just a wee bit...

I've run across some misinformation amongst some of my family members recently, regarding the use of defibrillators. Articles like this one from February indicate that they're not the only ones who may not understand. So what is a defibrillator, and what is it good for?
We'll start with the heart. It beats between 60-90 beats per minute (normally) in all of us who are alive to read this. The heart beats because inside the heart the "pacemaker", or sinoatrial node, generates an electric signal that courses through the heart muscle, which causes the muscles to contract, forcing blood up and out.

When the rhythm of the heart beat is normal, we call it "normal sinus rhythm". It looks like this:
Sometimes, the electrical system of the heart gets screwed up. It starts to fire in an abnormal fashion, causing the heart beat to become abnormal. We call this an arrhythmia. There are many types of arrhythmias. You can start with slow versus fast patterns. The thing to remember is there are MANY TYPES. Since there are many types of arrhythmias, it makes sense to think that patients have many types of reactions to their arrhythmias. Some patients with a benign arrhythmia may have no symptoms or may have severe symptoms. Some have a potentially lethal pattern and may have severe symptoms or no symptoms.

Now, what do you see on TV? Patient says "I can't breathe!", grasps their chest, and keels over; someone slaps the paddles together, yells "CLEAR!", then you hear BOOM! and the patient sits straight up, fit as a fiddle.

Not exactly.

In real life, the paddles only come out when a) the patient is sick enough and b) the rhythm is shockable. On airplanes and in school gyms, automated external defibrillators may be used instead of the big fancy paddles. Someone goes down, isn't breathing, and they look bad. Bystander grabs the AED, slaps on the pads, and the machine starts to analyze the patient. It has two options: shockable rhythm or non-shockable rhythm. That's it. The machine doesn't know if the patient is breathing, or conscious, or has no blood pressure; the machine simply knows whether it should deliver a strong shock or not.

So when will the machine deliver a strong shock? Two rhythms only: ventricular tachycardia and ventricular fibrillation. Both of these rhythms can be fatal, as the heart beats too fast to pump blood, so the brain dies, and the heart wears out, so it dies.

Unlike on TV, if someone's heart has stopped completely, or is in asystole, they don't get shocked. In that case, the only thing to do is good old-fashioned CPR: manual chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth (or bagging if you're in a hospital).

Thus, if you strap on an AED, it will not always shock the patient. It shouldn't. Pulseless electrical activity, where the heart has some electricity but isn't pumping blood to the body, does not respond well to shock. Asystole does not respond well to shock. The slow arrhythmias, unless they start having ventricular fibrillation, do not respond to this kind of shock (and require a special pacemaker). The correct thing to do, if the machine says "no shock advised", and the patient still isn't breathing, or has no pulse, is to continue CPR.

AED's can and do save lives--it's true. You can't go wrong by strapping one on someone who's down without a pulse and not breathing. But don't forget the CPR.

So, what was my family's misinformation? They thought that the machine always shocked--and therefore always saved. Not true. And unfortunately, if there's not a shockable rhythm, and the patient can't get help within minutes, their prognosis is grim, even with the world's greatest CPR (although with CPR is better than without). A patient who goes down may still have a poor prognosis even if the AED delivers a shock, but now they've got a fighting chance. Since you don't know why the patient is down--they may have had a heart attack, or a stroke, or a pulmonary embolus, or a chemical imbalance in their blood, any of which could trigger an arrhythmia--it's good to strap on the machine and do CPR.

Something random and (I think) fascinating: Hands-Only CPR can be just as effective as the regular kind. So, if you're worried about doing mouth-to-mouth, or don't have your barrier device handy, just work on the chest compressions (100 per minute, so faster than 1 per second, and compress the chest 1.5-2 inches in an adult).

--I'm going to use this for my family and other lay people who have questions about CPR and AED's. Let me know if there's something I should fix.

Weight

I've been thinking a lot lately about weight, both mine and other people's. I was made very happy last week when this article received a lot of media attention. Basically, the authors looked at data on 5,440 adults over the age of twenty, including their height, weight, and some lab tests. They also used self-reports of smoking and exercise habits. Overall, they found that inactivity, not weight, correlated with heart disease; so did age, smoking and waist circumference. In their study, 51% of overweight patients (BMI 25-29) had normal blood pressure, cholesterol, triglycerides, and blood sugar.

It's not exactly time to go out and rejoice by eating a gallon of Blue Bell, but this makes sense to me. Our BMI scale takes into account 2 things: height and weight. There are an awful lot of other factors that go into a person's build: gender, bone structure, muscle tone, fat density, etc. Just by BMI, many basketball players and other athletes considered to be in excellent physical shape fall into the overweight or obese categories (of course, I'm not referring to 300-lb linebackers here). Other studies have shown the importance of waist circumference in determining cardiovascular risk. I've seen a lot of people with skinny limbs and a big ol' gut.

This study also shows the other end of the spectrum: the unhealthy but skinny person. I'm sure we've all had thin patients with hypertension, hypercholesterolemia, diabetes, and coronary artery disease. I had a friend in high school who was genetically blessed and very thin. Other girls would (jealously) ask her why she worked out or ate salads--"you don't need to, you're so skinny!" We have this perception that only the fat people need to exercise, that the skinny ones have "made it" somehow, they've won the big prize and can eat cookies dipped in butter all day while sitting on the couch.

This study fits nicely into my personal belief, then: healthy people are active, regardless of weight. They probably eat better, too; not necessarily dieting all the time, but eating balanced healthy meals.

Can runners get coronary artery disease? Sure. I think nothing is truly impossible within the span of humanity (except, perhaps, a man who leaves down the toilet seat). Just as there are marathon runners who are fat (rare, but it can happen), I'm sure there are people who could leave me in their dust, only to have a big MI. It's all about adjusting your risk, just like everything we do in medicine.

Now, this study was just a cross-sectional observational study. The authors didn't follow the overweight people to see if that 51% stayed healthy or if they developed problems later on; they just took a snapshot of a group of people at one time. Just as these authors are cautioning that correlation does not equal causation, that obesity may be correlated but may not cause health problems, so might they be reaching the wrong conclusion.

____________________________________________________

I think the heavier you are, the harder it is to be healthy. I can share that I am 5'1" and have weighed as much as 158 lbs, putting me at a BMI of 29.9, which is almost to the obese category. When I couldn't fit into my interview suit from med school to interview for residency, I decided it was time to act, and I hit the gym. I was really appalled at how badly I performed (although I was also having a lot more asthma trouble at that time, too). Still, it's hard to move well with jiggling areas and extra pounds. Every step I took on the treadmill or elliptical, I lifted more weight than a woman my height should (unless she's wearing ankle weights). In other words, my system had to work harder to do the same amount of work as someone with a "normal" weight.

That was around September last year. I worked out and worked out and worked out and eventually noticed I was a little less winded on the elliptical. I'd also lost about 5 lbs, and fit into my interview suit in time, which was my first goal. Over the spring and through my trip to China, I ate a little less, and lost another 5 lbs. This time, I had to buy new pants in a size 10, so now I have a huge motivation not to gain the weight back (if I lose more, I'll have them taken in).

Losing weight is really hard, and I haven't really lost that much. Enough that people noticed; enough that I went down a dress size; enough that my midsection is noticeably smaller (I have an hourglass shape, so most of my weight is on my lower half). I really, really like the way I look now, and I'm having to work hard enough to stay this weight that I'm not sure I'm ready to try to lose more. It's funny, but the first time I weight 148-lbs I felt awful about it. Now, coming down to 148, it feels great. My resting pulse is lower, my blood pressure looks good (it wasn't high, but now it's even better), and my cholesterol looks better (though still a little high).

In other words, if I'm healthy at 148, or a BMI of 28, then that's okay with me. Sure, I'd love to be a size 4, but with the junk I've got in this trunk, it's never going to happen. To get a BMI of 25, back in the "normal" range, I'd have to get down to 132 lbs. I'd really like to get there, but I don't want to end up a yo-yo dieter. I'd rather stay peacefully in one spot than get yanked all over the place. Besides, I really like cookies.

So, I'm really trying to base my personal health assessment on how I feel, what my vitals and cholesterol look like, rather than my BMI. I figure, if I can get on the elliptical for 45 minutes, then walk a mile at a steep incline, and then do a few weights, how bad off can I be? My next goal: to jog a whole mile without stopping or being severely winded. In 26 years, I've never accomplished this; I may never accomplish this, but by god I'm going to try. It would be nice if achieving this goal also got rid of my double chin or made my legs less jiggly, but I'll try not to let that be my only measure of success.

Of course, internship is seriously getting in the way of my personal fitness crusade, but hey, we wouldn't want this to be too easy, now, would we?

Quote of the Day

"Tropical Storm Edouard? Spelled with three vowels, O-U-A? Oh my god, how gay can you get???" --said a gay friend of mine today

In no way related to the sexual preference implied by the name Edouard, this was one wussy tropical storm, IMHO. A friend in Houston called and said they only got 2 inches of rain. Where are the broken trees, the blown-off roof tiles? The videos of guys riding their bikes through flooded streets saying "This ain't so bad"? Geez!

Dilettante

From Merriam Webster:
"Main Entry: dil·et·tante
Pronunciation: \ˈdi-lə-ˌtänt, -ˌtant; ˌdi-lə-ˈ\
Function: noun

1 : an admirer or lover of the arts
2 : a person having a superficial interest in an art or a branch of knowledge : dabbler"

And that second definition fits me like a glove. In my personal life, I have many hobbies and/or things I like to do, but I am a jack-of-all-trades and am truly a master of none. I got to thinking about this the other day and I made a list of all my various hobbies/interests. I was astonished at how long it was.

• Singing: I haven't had any instruction in singing since I started college and quit going to church. Looking back, choir was the only part of church that I truly enjoyed all the time. Now, my only singing is in the car or while playing Rock Band. I'd love to take voice lessons and maybe find a choral group to join, because I miss singing with a passion.
• Playing trumpet: I haven't played my trumpet since second year of med school. At this point, I couldn't join a group, it's been so long since I played. Sad.
• Playing Rock Band (drums and vocals): I do love me some Rock Band. Unfortunately, I don't play often enough to actually be any good at the drums, despite my occasional daydreams of becoming a drum goddess and touring with Metallica.
• Dancing: I took ballet, tap, and jazz lessons for most of my childhood (nine years, in fact). I had to quit when I started band, because of time and money constraints. I miss it. I've picked up a little salsa here and there, but it's a rather useless skill if I'm out dancing with my hubby, because he doesn't really know how. (Well, he can do the merengue, if he counts...) I don't really know how to teach him, and whenever we dance I end up leading (and counting for him). I'd really like to take salsa or ballroom lessons with him, or even take tap lessons again. Now, though, I have my own time and money constraints.
• Working out: I was working out like a fiend toward the end of fourth year, and lost 10 lbs, which made me extremely happy. Even better, I found myself able to jog a bit on the treadmill WITHOUT a heartrate of 200+, blue lips, or painful gasping breaths. My total cholesterol was down in the 170's last time I checked it. I was seeing results. And then I graduated, and had to turn in my student ID that got me in the gym. Now, I'm debating whether to pay for a membership for a gym near the hospital (cheaper), or a gym near my house (more expensive), and so for the past month my butt has grown roots into the couch. I've kept the 10 lbs off for now by mowing the yard and Krav, but I'm deathly afraid it's going to come back.
• Krav Maga: I had started taking Krav lessons with my husband after I came back from China. It's a form of martial arts started by the Israelis. I'm not great at it, but I'm a rank n00b. However, it costs $90/month and we get too busy to go NOW. I'm cancelling my membership after June, because there's no way I'm going to be LESS busy while taking q4 call and working ("no more than") 80 hours per week.
• Biking: My husband and I just bought nice road/hybrid bicycles. I'd love to be a good rider, and I also like to use it to make small grocery runs when I don't want to take the car. Now if I could just find the time to ride, and if only it weren't 100 degrees & 90% humidity outside...
  
• Crochet: I learned how to do this when I was eight and bored at daycare. I can still make the occasional baby blanket (oh geez, I have several to make!), but it hurts my wrist unless I wear a brace. This is one skill I am actually pretty good at, without any further instruction needed.
• Painting: This is not something I am good at, but I decided I wanted to paint some "wall art" for our new house. It's... interesting. I'm sure someone will make a comment about their three-year-old's fingerpainting when they view it. However, I've barely done one, and I have several to go.
• Making jewelry: Something I randomly picked up third year for no apparent reason. And really haven't done since.
• Gardening: I haven't planted anything new at our house, because the front was already landscaped and everything else was sod. However, I plan to have an herb and vegetable garden in the future. If my thumb isn't so black anymore, that is.
• Cooking: When I want to cook, have time to cook, and have bought the ingredients, I'm not a bad cook. I make a mean lasagna, for example. I'm always buying new spices or ingredients to try out, that then languish in my pantry. We eat out a lot. But just when I think "I'm not so bad a cook", I read TBTAM, and her recipes make me cringe with fear, because they are so complicated. I want to be able to throw together a lovely, tasty meal in 10 minutes using only what I have on hand, no more than 5 ingredients, and have it be low-fat, low-cal, and amazing. Oh, and I want the dishes to do themselves. Is that too much to ask?
• Reading: Another skill I don't need more practice at. I am an extremely fast reader, probably a) genetically and b) because I read all the time. My med school colleagues (at least those in my half of the alphabet) used to get really hacked at me because I'd finish exams so fast. I didn't usually tell them I'd gone through it twice before I left. I finished Genghis Khan and am now reading The Devil in the White City, as well as having read (entirely) several new blogs.
• Blogging: Heh. I want to be a super-blogger, one with thousands of readers. But when I read the super-blogs, I get really discouraged. I don't write often enough (or well enough, let's be honest) to be one of the big boys. I'm not sure how so many busy physicians and residents find the time to write so much, but I'm just not that good. I'm happy that I've kept writing here, because I've saved memories in these pages for myself. I also love writing (I was once told I was good at that, too--you'd never think it to read the drivel I post here). I may just have to become a super-blog-reader, and leave it at that.

So why am I worried about this now? I'm trying to figure out why I'm spread in so many different directions, and what I can do about it. I think I just want to do too much stuff. I feel the rush of getting ready to start residency (oops, orientation starts tomorrow), and feel like I have to do everything NOW. Of course, that usually ends with me on my bum on the couch reading medblogs, which is marginally better than curled up in a closet in fetal position sucking my thumb. I also feel intense pressure to be a whole person, a good person, outside of medicine. Medicine is my calling, and I'm passionate about it, but I don't want to be that person all the time. It's only part of who I am, and I'm a little ashamed that the rest of me is so splintered and unfocused. I'd like to be really good at something other than medicine. I'm not sure which of my little hobbies (if any) will provide what I need, so I guess I'm afraid to commit fully to any of them.

I use the "I have no time" excuse a lot, especially when I'm working hard. Well, guess what? I'm NEVER going to be totally "unbusy", now that this month is gone. And look what I did with a month off--not a damn thing. It's time to buckle down and pick something to do and spend some time doing it, even if it's only a little bit. Money is going to be less of an issue now that we're going to be a two-income household, so long as I don't go totally nuts (or make my new hobby shopping--I do too much of that as it is).

But what'll I do? I'm not sure yet which of my little hobbies is worth my precious time outside of the hospital on a q4 call month. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

Going Green (Baby Steps)

So recently, I've been thinking more about trying to reduce our impact on the environment. I'm kind of at the level of the typical American consumer, currently, so I'm at a place where some of the changes I'm trying to make are relatively easy. I recycle whatever I can, although unfortunately our curb-side recycling is very limited, so I end up driving to the recycling center fairly often. I will save plastic bottles or soda cans all day in my purse so I can take them home and recycle them; if I don't, I feel terribly guilty.

Part of my concern is for the amount of stuff ending up in landfills. I think eventually I'll start worrying more about the content of what products I use, but for now I'm trying to limit the amount I throw away. And believe me, we throw away a lot of stuff. My husband and I have a serious fast food habit, and combined with my iced tea habit, I use a ton of fast food cups. Most of them are Styrofoam or plastic #6, neither of which are recyclable (at least not here). I've started pondering ways to avoid throwing away so many cups.

What I'd like best doesn't seem to exist in the form I'd like. I want a reusable plastic cup in the same shape as most fast-food to-go cups (so it fits in my car cup holder). It could be a different material--it doesn't have to be plastic--but plastic would be relatively inexpensive. I guess I can start using my Nalgene bottle for this purpose, but as I now do so much driving, trying to unscrew the cap while driving isn't terribly safe. Many other forms of reusable bottles for sale (like these) are built in a similar fashion. A narrow-mouth bottle wouldn't be convenient for filling with ice and water in a fast-food situation; a wide-mouth bottle with only a screw-off lid has no straw for easy drinking. If anyone finds a cup that fits all these requirements, let me know.

We had the little squiggly lightbulbs in our apartment; we haven't had a chance yet to replace all the bulbs here in the house, but it's in the plans. I'm actually thinking about doing a composting experiment in the backyard, too. We have plenty of dog poo to add to the pile, and food which goes to waste, so why not?

I think a lot of what I'm looking at is how wasteful we are. I'm looking at a to-go container for a sandwich I took home yesterday from a restaurant. It's a clear plastic container, made of #6 plastic. This is going straight in a landfill. Most other to-go containers we get are styrofoam, which is also going in a landfill.

I've started using reusable shopping bags, but it's harder than I thought. I never seem to have them on me when I go to the store for large grocery trips; sometimes I have one in my purse for the quick trip, but sometimes I don't. Sometimes the cashier uses plastic bags before I realize what has happened. I still have piles of plastic bags under my sink; fortunately, a local grocery store has a bin for recycling plastic bags. Not everyone is so considerate; there are dumped plastic bags all over the countryside out here.

I'm not quite to this level, though: apparently, they make reusable menstrual pads and "cups". I'm not so sure about this, personally. That's just more gross than I'm currently willing to do.

I'm only taking baby steps here so far. The truly green will probably laugh at some of my efforts, because we're still definitely "consumerists" and will probably remain so. We have to start somewhere, though.

I Got Dinged

A friend dinged me for not posting today. It's true, I haven't been spending much time blogging or reading blogs lately. Somehow, even though my days are fairly easy--only a few hours of lecture a day--the new strains that commuting puts on my time somehow chip away at my time to play around on the internet willy-nilly. So sad.

Last week, I was pondering a great topic to post about. I even told my friends, Hey, I'm going to post about this, I think it would be awesome. And then I promptly forgot what I was going to post about. It was a fascinating, deep topic, and it's gone forever. Actually, it probably wasn't that great, but it still sucks that I forgot.

So instead, I'm going to write about the best lecture we've had so far in our "Transition to Residency" month.

Yesterday during a leisurely lunch outside under the trees, enjoying one of the last months of nice weather here in the jungle, we consulted our schedule to see what useless lecture we'd be attending at 1 pm. The lectures have generally been getting better, but overall they're nothing to call home about. Anyway, we checked our schedule, and we see a lecture titled "Diarrhea". Most of these lectures begin with "Approach to the Patient With...", but not this one. Short but sweet--"Diarrhea." Since I have a five-year-old's sense of humor, I burst into song.

"When you're drivin' in a Chevy, and you feel somethin' heavy, Diarrhea! *clap clap* Diarrhea! *clap clap*"

A few of us took turns recalling verses we knew to the song. Then, lunch hour was over and we walked into the lecture hall, only to find that our lecturer was already present. He was messing with the computer and pulling up his powerpoint presentation. I pulled out my Sudoku book and prepared for the usual, when a friend called for my attention. "Hey--look at the screen!"

I looked up to the screen to see the lecturer had pulled up YouTube and had clicked on a video. A video called "The Diarrhea Song." I didn't even know that this song had been used in this movie, but he played a little clip for us. Throughout his lecture, he'd throw in "favorite phrases" from the song, referenced from this blog: http://diarrheasong.blogspot.com/. Who knew that someone actually created a blog in honor of the Diarrhea Song?

The remainder of his lecture was actually quite good, and he took pity on us for having to be there (he showed us pictures of himself snowboarding as a lazy fourth year med student). My favorite part, though, was definitely the poop jokes.

Just goes to show, 'The real money's in the dick and fart jokes.' Or, med students are five year olds, and we are all still amused by poop. Or maybe it's just me.

*This post brought to you by the Diarrhea Song!*

Just So I Don't Forget

Thanks for the supportive comments, and a special thanks to my friend for allowing me to call and vent last night. I really needed to talk girlie stuff and cry over my stupidity and get some comfort--all of which was given and then some. Thanks.

And yes, I certainly hope that karma catches up with people who feel that it's okay to place international phone calls on someone else's phone, even when that person was idiotic enough to lose it. Is it okay to wish genital herpes on such people? Does that make me vindictive?

Ah, who cares. A plague on both your houses and HSV-2 on both your genitalia.

Cell Phone Saga

I shouldn't be allowed to own a cell phone, seriously. A few months ago, I famously dropped my cell phone into the toilet prior to sitting down. I had to call the cell phone insurance people to replace my crappy RAZR with another crappy RAZR, since I was a few months shy of being able to replace the phone and get the huge discounts I needed.

The day before Valentine's Day, my cell phone went missing (see my last post). The next day, I was in the middle of calling around to various Lost & Founds when I decided to check my bill online. Lo and behold, someone was using my phone to call Matamoros, Mexico. I promptly called my provider, canceled the phone, and went to the store, where I was able to purchase a new, beautiful PDA phone. It was a little inconvenient, as we were in the middle of moving into our new house, but I was able to get an awesome new phone with the discounts.

The new phone is a bit large, and didn't fit into many of my pockets (girl pockets are small). I spent the past several days researching expensive phone cases on the internet because there is a paucity of accessories for this brand new phone model. I hadn't been able to purchase one yet, though, because the options were limited.

This afternoon, I was out when I realized I didn't have my cell phone on me. I must have left it in the car, I thought, and didn't worry about it. When we got home, I glanced in my car, but there was no phone. It must be on the counter, I thought, but it wasn't on the counter. It wasn't in my purse, it wasn't in the jacket I wore last night, or my pants pockets from last night. Panicking now, I realized the last time I'd seen it was last night when we went to eat, prior to going to Best Buy. I called the restaurant, but no one had turned in a cell phone. I called the phone, but it went straight to my voice mail.

Feeling an awful sense of deja vu, I checked my bill online. No calls to Matamoros today; instead, some asshole has been calling El Salvador with my phone, as well as half of the US.

Q@$#@$!EWAR#@Q$##@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just sat down and cried for a while. I simultaneously felt stupid, ashamed, sick, furious, and kind of violated. How could this happen twice? How could I be so retarded? What the hell is wrong with these people? Seriously, if I found a cell phone my first instinct would not be to begin placing international phone calls.

The phone has now been canceled again, and a new phone is on its way. Fortunately, the insurance covered this phone, but since they just replaced the toilet phone they're kicking me off the insurance for a year after this. I can't say I blame them--I think I've proven that I'm not a good risk for an insurance company.

The best part of the whole experience: after taking care of everything with the insurance agent on the phone, he says "oh, this phone is Bluetooth capable and we're running a great deal on our Bluetooth headsets--would you be interested in hearing more?" I could only laugh. I just paid upwards of $250 for this new phone and a car charger (I just sent off my rebate paperwork yesterday), I'm now paying a $50 deductible that I wasn't anticipating in order to get YET ANOTHER new freaking phone, and I just spent $45 online to get a nice case to keep it scratch-free + close to me with a wrist strap. Um, I really cannot afford to hear your great offer on the Bluetooth headset, but thanks.

*facepalm*

Happy Valentine's Day, Texas!

Just in time for Valentine's Day, a federal court has overturned a Texas law banning the sale of "novelty sex toys", aka vibrators. Enjoy your Valentine's celebrations!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Eat turkey!

Isn't it Ironic?

Not two days ago, we were out boating with some friends. At one point, the boat hit a sandbar, and we got a little splashed. The $300 digital camera was miraculously spared, but my husband's cell phone got hit. We frantically tried to revive it, but that little splash had already condensed inside the screen, and salt was visible. When we hit land, we went to the cell phone store, and since he was eligible to upgrade, he got a fancy new toy phone, complete with MP3 player and "slider" features (he's been playing with it ever since). There was a shiny new phone there that I really liked, too, but I'm not eligible to upgrade for several months, and I'm thinking about going the smartphone route, so I can get ePocrates and such on my device and ditch the PDA + cell phone combo that weighs down my pockets.

This morning, I had my cell phone in my back pocket while I ran around the house getting ready for clinic. I went into the bathroom and prepared to sit down when I heard a loud THUNK-SPLASH! I jumped back up and sure enough, there was my phone in the toilet bowl. I've come close with my pager, but it always hits the floor; I've never dropped an electronic device into the toilet before. Thank goodness it was prior to sitting down, so to speak, but I still had a drowned phone. I struggled to revive it, but it powered off and hasn't come back on since. I've spoken to the phone company, and with my insurance I will have to pay a $50 deductible, but they will mail me a new phone in the next 2 days. I hate my current phone--it was a hugely hyped model, but mine gets poor reception and crappy battery life. I really didn't want to spend $50 to get the exact same phone, especially when I'm planning to upgrade in a few months, but it's better to spend $50 now and have a working phone until then. We don't have a landline, so as I'm sitting here this afternoon, I have phone calls I need to make, but I can't. Ayo, technology.

It's bizarre that within a matter of days, both of us drowned our cell phones. He definitely got the better end of the deal as far as new phones go, but his Sim card was ruined, too, so he lost all his phone numbers. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that mine was okay, but I did lose a really cute picture of the kitty sleeping in my purse that was on my old phone.

It's also kind of funny how every time I get to feeling like I am doing pretty well for myself, I do something totally idiotic, just to remind myself that I'm a doofus. Big heads get burst around here, I promise.

One good thing came out of this morning, I suppose. The kitty was watching as the phone took its dive, and he was totally amused. After all, he is totally obsessed with the toilet, and shiny plastic/metal objects, so the combination of the two was almost more than he could handle. I had to yank him out of the way to grab the phone out of the water. As I was wiping the phone down, he was perched on the side of the potty, staring with fascination into the bowl. Weird cat.

More Microbiology in the News

http://www.kpho.com/news/14107744/detail.html

Friends, when you are traveling in Arizona or New Mexico (or anywhere, really) where there are prairie dogs, do not play with them. They may look cute, but in reality they are disgusting, disease-mongering vermin who deserve to be shunned. If you insist on playing with these nasty creatures, you may contract the bubonic plague. Yes, the plague, which wiped out most of Europe several hundred years ago. The Black Plague, which is still 50% fatal if you contract the pneumonic form. So, if you play with prairie dogs on vacation, then go home and start feeling "flu-like" symptoms, be sure you tell your doctor where you traveled so you can get the right antibiotics pronto.

In case the above isn't nerdy enough, this article discusses the link between resistance to Yersinia pestis and the HIV virus, which scientists may be able to exploit in future HIV prevention/treatment research.

Yes, this is how I spend my Sunday evenings.

Oh Boy Humberto, Part II

So for the second time in two years, a hurricane turned away from Houston and hit East Texas and Louisiana. Once again, Nature has showed that she hates Louisiana.

Oh Boy Humberto

The Gulf Coast is preparing for Humberto, which formed quickly and is marching in to bitchsmack parts of Texas, including Houston. Hope that those of you in Houston stay dry!

Not Just on House...

Apparently, three boys have recently contracted amoebic encephalitis by swimming in very warm Florida lakes. Sadly, all three have since died, because unlike on House, this bug (Naegleria fowleri) is nearly 95% fatal.

So, any time you're going swimming in lake water above 80 degrees Fahrenheit, wear nose plugs, so the trophozoites (shown above) don't swim up your nose to your brain, eat it, and kill you.

Vacation!

Man, I love the Rocky Mountains. I'm spending the end of my week off up here with my mom & stepdad, eating my leftover wedding cake and thoroughly relaxing. I took a walk around a mountain lake today (huffing and puffing--I don't do well with altitude). It felt great to be outside in the middle of the day and NOT be covered in sweat. Tonight, I'm sleeping in full PJ's and a sweatshirt, because it's getting down to the 40's tonight--such a wonderful change from our 85+ degree apartment (and we STILL have $200 electric bills!). Also, I learned something very interesting: my mother has started writing fan fic.

My mother.

Writes fan fic.

About her favorite television show, Jericho, which was canceled.

Life never stops being weird, does it? I outed myself as a blog writer and she kind of went, "That's nice." I guess some things never change. (You don't read this, but I kid, Mom, I kid!)

Actually, some things do change. My mom has lost 20+ lbs and LOVES it. My sister has lost around that amount, and my dad has lost 25 lbs. That leaves me, The Last Fatass. It's so easy to say "It's too hard in medicine, I don't have time to eat right, I don't have time to exercise," but that scares me, because my life is never going to be stress-free. It's never going to be any easier to exercise, or eat well, or take better care of my plants and pets. I keep saying this, and I keep sitting on my butt watching Discovery Channel instead of going to the gym. I also keep saying, I don't care how much I weigh, so long as I am fit, but it's a lie. I want to be thin, or at least thinner. I'm tired of being barely under the "obese" category of BMI. For now, though, I'd settle for being able to climb a flight of stairs while having a conversation, or two flights of stairs without being winded for 10 minutes afterward.

For right now, I'm going to sit on my butt, watch "Dirty Jobs", finish this blog post, and go sleep. Mmm, sleep.

Home for the Weekend

Feels good to be home for the weekend. While sitting here earlier, I was surprised by a knock on the door. When I answered it, two of my friends were standing there, with a stack of plates of fresh chocolate chip cookies that they were passing out to their friends. It was about the sweetest thing I've experienced in a while.

*tries not to draw attention to pun*

*fails miserably*