Cell Phone Saga

I shouldn't be allowed to own a cell phone, seriously. A few months ago, I famously dropped my cell phone into the toilet prior to sitting down. I had to call the cell phone insurance people to replace my crappy RAZR with another crappy RAZR, since I was a few months shy of being able to replace the phone and get the huge discounts I needed.

The day before Valentine's Day, my cell phone went missing (see my last post). The next day, I was in the middle of calling around to various Lost & Founds when I decided to check my bill online. Lo and behold, someone was using my phone to call Matamoros, Mexico. I promptly called my provider, canceled the phone, and went to the store, where I was able to purchase a new, beautiful PDA phone. It was a little inconvenient, as we were in the middle of moving into our new house, but I was able to get an awesome new phone with the discounts.

The new phone is a bit large, and didn't fit into many of my pockets (girl pockets are small). I spent the past several days researching expensive phone cases on the internet because there is a paucity of accessories for this brand new phone model. I hadn't been able to purchase one yet, though, because the options were limited.

This afternoon, I was out when I realized I didn't have my cell phone on me. I must have left it in the car, I thought, and didn't worry about it. When we got home, I glanced in my car, but there was no phone. It must be on the counter, I thought, but it wasn't on the counter. It wasn't in my purse, it wasn't in the jacket I wore last night, or my pants pockets from last night. Panicking now, I realized the last time I'd seen it was last night when we went to eat, prior to going to Best Buy. I called the restaurant, but no one had turned in a cell phone. I called the phone, but it went straight to my voice mail.

Feeling an awful sense of deja vu, I checked my bill online. No calls to Matamoros today; instead, some asshole has been calling El Salvador with my phone, as well as half of the US.

Q@$#@$!EWAR#@Q$##@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just sat down and cried for a while. I simultaneously felt stupid, ashamed, sick, furious, and kind of violated. How could this happen twice? How could I be so retarded? What the hell is wrong with these people? Seriously, if I found a cell phone my first instinct would not be to begin placing international phone calls.

The phone has now been canceled again, and a new phone is on its way. Fortunately, the insurance covered this phone, but since they just replaced the toilet phone they're kicking me off the insurance for a year after this. I can't say I blame them--I think I've proven that I'm not a good risk for an insurance company.

The best part of the whole experience: after taking care of everything with the insurance agent on the phone, he says "oh, this phone is Bluetooth capable and we're running a great deal on our Bluetooth headsets--would you be interested in hearing more?" I could only laugh. I just paid upwards of $250 for this new phone and a car charger (I just sent off my rebate paperwork yesterday), I'm now paying a $50 deductible that I wasn't anticipating in order to get YET ANOTHER new freaking phone, and I just spent $45 online to get a nice case to keep it scratch-free + close to me with a wrist strap. Um, I really cannot afford to hear your great offer on the Bluetooth headset, but thanks.

*facepalm*