Monday, July 17, 2006


1) Still liking surgery. I thought the poo would get in the way of my enjoyment, but it turns out that bowel surgery patients get cleaned out GOOD. GoLytely is a misnomer; it ought to be GoQuickly, GoRapidly, GoHeavily, or some variant thereof. Even better, I don't have to do the bowel prep! (yet)

2) Got my USMLE scores. I did well, so that stress is gone. I'se gon' be a dokter!

3) Nickelback is singing "I wanna be a rockstar" on the radio. Chad, I'm sure you'd like to know what that would be like.

4) In Dr. G's OR, getting addressed as "Doc" is NOT a compliment. Every nurse, every scrub tech, every nurse anesthetist was called by name. Me? I'm "Doc", as in "Never give me orders in MY OR, Doc" (when I had to hand him the lap camera so I could get my step stool). I watched him treat a 3rd year resident the same way today, so at least it's not personal.

5) I've started choosing my footwear for work based on what I wouldn't mind getting bloody. I've started choosing my face covers based on the desire NOT to be splashed with urine (again) when the nurse or I d/c the Foley.

6) In reference to #3, that was an insult. I hate Nickelback. Just in case it wasn't as obvious as it seemed to me.

7) Two of my good friends are splitting up, which is sad. I was in their wedding. Another wedding I attended has already ended in divorce. I think I'm bad wedding karma--maybe I just saved all the good for my own?

8) This is some funny shit. When I read the part about getting reamed by a radiology resident because he was sent to get a film read without a history... tears of sympathy sort of welled up. I thought I was alone in the world with that experience. Bitch. How DARE I ask her to do her JOB??!

9) A patient came in last night with a GSW (gunshot wound) to the right arm. He said he was standing around when someone he didn't know started shooting, he began to run, BAM! This story is known by a couple of names. One is "SOTCMMOB"--Standing On The Corner Minding My Own Business. The other is "the two dudes"--it's always two random dudes who do the assaults on these totally innocent bystanders. My resident says if we just catch those two dudes the County Hospital ER would go out of business.

Perhaps this is overly cynical for you? Maybe I was making a stereotypical assumption, but the man with the GSW was COVERED in jailhouse tattoos, was wearing a nylon cap, and had capped all his teeth in gold. If he wasn't doing anything to deserve to be shot, he was probably in a place where getting shot is not an uncommon occurrence.

10) My friend is working with a liver oncology surgeon. After removing most of a man's liver, the grateful patient presented the surgeon with 3 bottles of rum. The surgeon says liquor is his most commonly received gift. Ponder that for a minute.

11) Working in a hospital is one of the fastest ways to lose a sex drive. Not only will the hours make you old, but you are constantly confronted with the worst human anatomy possible. A 10 lb scrotum? A naked 300 lb woman? Foley catheters? Bring it on! I now understand the sex parts of "House of God", and why they felt the need to fuck all the time to prove that they were alive. Sadly, my life at work is more nunlike than Grey's Anatomy-like.

Stay tuned for more exciting details!

1 comment:

barbie said...

i am oddly proud to be mentioned indirectly in your blog.
ps: stay away from my wedding.