Monday, December 17, 2007

Not Studying

I have absolutely no study ethic any more. After the first two years of med school, and the marathon of studying that went into the end of second year (end of block 4, then finals, then Step 1--it was like 2.5 months of solid studying), I have just been unable to make myself study much. I take the Step 2 CK on Wednesday, and I'm not studying right now; I'm watching my cat play with a straw on the floor. Yes, a drinking straw. They are his favorite toys; he'll play with them for hours, jumping on and off furniture, flicking them out of his mouth and chasing them, burying them under the rug, or bringing them proudly into bed with us. If I ever figure out how to use my new digital camera (Christmas and birthday gift), I'll try to get a picture or video of this, because it's pretty funny. But now, I'm writing about watching my cat play with a drinking straw, instead of studying. I should probably get dressed, so I can walk the dog instead of study, go to the gym instead of study, go buy more Christmas cards, fill them out, label, and mail them instead of study, etc. It's a good thing Step 2 CK doesn't really matter for my future.

Speaking of that, I had a funny conversation with my father about the Step 2 the other day.

Dad: What are you up to this month? Are you doing another rotation?

Me: No, I'm off this month for interviews and so I can take the Step 2.

Dad: Are you studying hard?

Me: Nah, these scores probably won't even come in before the match. Even if they did, I probably won't share them with a program unless they absolutely rock. Therefore, the score I get on this test really doesn't matter [so long as I pass].

Dad: Well, now, you should always try to do your best.

Me: It really doesn't matter. I'm sure I'll pass.

Dad: Well, you should always aim for the highest, and that way you'll always do well!

I told my husband about it as soon as I saw him: see, honey, there's a REASON I'm like this! My family wanted me to be a type A, compulsive perfectionist! Ha! I have proof now!

Time to go find another way to avoid studying!


Rach said...

See Xavier Emmanuelle's Blog ( she's having the same problem. I'm having the same problem too, except I don't have to study, I'm supposed to be at work. I'm sitting here watching an entire season of the simpsons on DVD. I'd rather be watching a cat.

Gauderio said...

As they say, "2 months, 2 weeks, #2 pencil."

When you have a solid step 1 score that no one will ever see or judge you on, the motivation is suddenly gone. It's great to do your best, but at the same time my dad always says, "You're time has to be worth something." If there's no reward for all the hours of studying, why not enjoy the time while you have it?

Allison said...

Ah yes. A conversation I have had many times.

Oh family...

So I was wondering the other day how you and I turned out SO DIFFERENT from the entire rest of the family. And by different, I mean badass, of course.

Tiny Shrink said...

We are pretty badass, are we not?

Katie! said...

Yes, I too have had that same conversation with both of my parents. Do they see how those conversations shaped us (read: me) into the crazed, determined little med students that we are today? Clearly, no. I wouldn't have thought so either.

Good luck on Step 2. I hope to get there someday! I just have to finish 2nd year and survive Step 1 first. Ugh.

I think I'll go walk my dogs, so as to procrastinate worrying about studying!

Xavier Emmanuelle said...

Hope you got back to studying okay! I know it took me four or five days of complete unproductivity before I was finally able to study again! Thankfully, it turns out that almost all of my peers were having the same problem, and luckily the exam was quite straightforward!