Shorts

A random assortment of thoughts and observations from the past couple of post-free weeks:

* I visited the best Chinese buffet EVER recently. The food was so-so to bad: there was a dish entitled "Ham Spaghetti" on the buffet; my broccoli was fresh, but tasted like fish; and the ice cream had that lumpy grittiness that all Chinese buffets seem to perfect. What made it the best, then? On their dessert buffet, they had unwrapped Little Debbie's Zebra Cakes and were serving them individually. I am a fanatic about Zebra Cakes, and I expounded on the virtues of the artificial flavoring packed with sugar as I ate just one. One, because you CAN'T eat just one if you buy the box; they're wrapped in pairs, and if I open a package I can't leave the lonely one. Thank you, Yank Sing Something-or-Other, for feeding my addiction to artificial snack-cake goodness.

* I figured out why men channel surf. I watched my fiance toy with his XM Satellite Radio the other day, and he skipped around the various channels just quick enough to catch a snippet of each song, ostensibly so he could find one he liked. I noticed an interesting phenomenon, however; often he'd bypass a song I knew he liked (or at least tolerated) to keep surfing. Sometimes he'd come back to it, but more often he'd just keep going, surfing over and over again. I think it has something to do with the thrill of the chase. He didn't actually want to listen to a song, for goodness' sake; he wanted to find a song. There's a difference! Instead of settling for an inferior song, he was going to keep hunting until he found the right song! There's an ideal song out there somewhere, and he's going to find it. Me Tarzan, you Jane.

Of course, then there's me. I have like 5 channels (out of 80) on the TV that I like to watch, so when I turn on the TV I flip through those 5. If Law and Order is on (USA or TNT), I stop. If I've seen the Law and Order, I'll flip to Discovery Health Channel to see some gore, or to Animal Planet to watch Animal Cops, or to Court TV to watch Forensic Files. That's it. If there's nothing on my 5 channels, I'll turn the TV off. There's no use in flipping through 20 Spanish-only channels or 5+ gospel channels hoping that one day, they'll have something good on.

I feel so dirty now.

* I have discovered a new love for chick-lit, specifically the works of Marian Keyes. So silly, yet so sad. And the books are all set in Ireland, so the ladies say things like "Ah no" and "I've taken agin' him". They have names like Ashling and Aiofo. So charming! And I have no mental capacity left for any other type of reading, so all my Dostoevsky and Shakespeare will just have to wait. Next on my list: Last Chance Saloon.

* I have completed 2 of 3 Super Secret Baby Projects; I just have to finish (and start) one more before March. Sadly, I think I'm developing carpal tunnel syndrome in my right wrist; either that, or osteoarthritis. Being 24 RULES.

* I am a super hero. Truly, I possess the superpower of SLEEP. I've been sleeping up to 12 hours a day for the past 3 weeks AND I'M STILL TIRED. Get no sleep? I'm tired. Get a lot of sleep? I'm tired. Get 8 hours? I'm tired. It's ridiculous. At least J-dog will sleep next to me, as late as I want to sleep in. When we got up this morning at 6:30 am and went to shower, he remained curled under his blanket on our bed until we got out of the shower and started talking to him. Once he heard his name (in that "doggy" tone of voice), a lump started moving under the covers as he wagged his tail. Pretty cute! You may see me on Animal Cops one day, as I become a crazy dog lady and spend my entire pension check on chicken for my thousands of bedraggled animals. Or not.

* We went to Arkansas for Christmas with my fiance's family, and on our way home we passed a billboard, which advertised for "Arkansas' BEST 100' buffet". This implies that Arkansas has more than one 100-foot buffet. Damn.

* At our school's last interview day, which was this past week, my friend and I talked about diarrhea and the odors of Gross lab while serving ourselves free lunch (for giving tours) loudly, hoping that any interviewees who couldn't handle it would scuttle home and apply to take the LSAT. It's amazing what you can discuss while eating, and for that matter, it's amazing that I now know about 50 different types of diarrhea. My world is filled with poo. I also tell stories about a patient mentioned in a micro lecture WHO HAD HIS ARM AMPUTATED a day after getting a minor skin infection with Vibrio vulnificus, a salt-loving bacteria which likes to hang out in the Gulf of Mexico. The first picture was a red, angry wound on an intact arm; the second was a detached arm that was the sickest color of red/purple/black I've ever seen. I think that lecture was right before lunch, too. The lecturer didn't miss a beat while the entire first year class gasped. Ah, micro.

More randomness later, as we get closer to THE BOARDS (scheduled for June 1, 2006) and THE WEDDING (June 11) and my brain officially turns into mush. It's been close for years, I know, but we're finally reaching the breaking point. I may go back to bus driving, and settle for a common-law marriage.