For Those Days When You Just Can't Take it Anymore

Just hide under the bed! (Look for both tails!)Or kick yourself in the head!
Or just screw it all and take a nap!(I'm going to be one of those parents, aren't I?)

Isn't it Ironic?

Not two days ago, we were out boating with some friends. At one point, the boat hit a sandbar, and we got a little splashed. The $300 digital camera was miraculously spared, but my husband's cell phone got hit. We frantically tried to revive it, but that little splash had already condensed inside the screen, and salt was visible. When we hit land, we went to the cell phone store, and since he was eligible to upgrade, he got a fancy new toy phone, complete with MP3 player and "slider" features (he's been playing with it ever since). There was a shiny new phone there that I really liked, too, but I'm not eligible to upgrade for several months, and I'm thinking about going the smartphone route, so I can get ePocrates and such on my device and ditch the PDA + cell phone combo that weighs down my pockets.

This morning, I had my cell phone in my back pocket while I ran around the house getting ready for clinic. I went into the bathroom and prepared to sit down when I heard a loud THUNK-SPLASH! I jumped back up and sure enough, there was my phone in the toilet bowl. I've come close with my pager, but it always hits the floor; I've never dropped an electronic device into the toilet before. Thank goodness it was prior to sitting down, so to speak, but I still had a drowned phone. I struggled to revive it, but it powered off and hasn't come back on since. I've spoken to the phone company, and with my insurance I will have to pay a $50 deductible, but they will mail me a new phone in the next 2 days. I hate my current phone--it was a hugely hyped model, but mine gets poor reception and crappy battery life. I really didn't want to spend $50 to get the exact same phone, especially when I'm planning to upgrade in a few months, but it's better to spend $50 now and have a working phone until then. We don't have a landline, so as I'm sitting here this afternoon, I have phone calls I need to make, but I can't. Ayo, technology.

It's bizarre that within a matter of days, both of us drowned our cell phones. He definitely got the better end of the deal as far as new phones go, but his Sim card was ruined, too, so he lost all his phone numbers. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that mine was okay, but I did lose a really cute picture of the kitty sleeping in my purse that was on my old phone.

It's also kind of funny how every time I get to feeling like I am doing pretty well for myself, I do something totally idiotic, just to remind myself that I'm a doofus. Big heads get burst around here, I promise.

One good thing came out of this morning, I suppose. The kitty was watching as the phone took its dive, and he was totally amused. After all, he is totally obsessed with the toilet, and shiny plastic/metal objects, so the combination of the two was almost more than he could handle. I had to yank him out of the way to grab the phone out of the water. As I was wiping the phone down, he was perched on the side of the potty, staring with fascination into the bowl. Weird cat.

Kitty Therapy

A patient yesterday told me "I didn't get depressed when I was diagnosed with [chronic condition]. I got a cat." I can totally understand. Don't get me wrong, dogs are great, too, and we like ours a lot.
That green blanket behind the dog is HIS personal (dog-gonal?) blanket up on our bed. He has a perfectly comfy dog bed on the floor, with a fleece blanket, but after we're asleep he jumps up on our bed, and if we don't give him his own blanket, he steals our covers and will nip at our feet. Of course, he's not the only one who steals covers:There is something special, though, I must admit, about being owned by a cat. (He is clearly the boss.) Even with the nipping my ankles, or gnawing on my hands, and the CONSTANT knocking stuff over, I am still captivated by this cat. Although if he doesn't stop knocking glasses of water over, or pulling picture frames off the wall, or trying to tip over the hubby's flat panel television, he may still end up free to a good home (or at least that's what I tell him).But he has this totally endearing way of jumping into your lap and demanding to be petted right away, followed by a loud purr when you scratch his ears. He also poses for the greatest pictures--it's like he's a little model, always looking for a photo op.Yes, that is my husband's backpack. He climbed in, stuck his head out, and took a nap. If you've ever met my cat, you'll know that we couldn't have posed him for any of this stuff, since a) he never listens to us, b) he's the boss, and c) he wouldn't sit still anyway, unless he put himself there.Note how the kitty has ahold of the dog's soft, squeaky bone. He will grab ahold of the dog's plushie bones, bite down, and then KICK with his back legs while lying on his side. It looks totally goofy.

So, allergies, asthma (it's getting better), knocked over and destroyed belongings, cat hair and all, it looks like this crazy feline is staying. And trust me, he is a BASKET CASE!Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all evening.

Kitty Update

Kitty now weighs 3.1 lb, up from 1.5 lb when we first took him to the vet. He's also developing unmistakable man-parts, so I think the vet guessed right. I had his claws trimmed today at the vet, thank GOD, so my legs can be unmolested for a few days at least. Here's a photo of him playing with J-Dog--they've finally reached somewhat of a truce, and occasionally bouts of play break out. It's pretty awesome!

An Ill-Advised Move

If you've kept up with the blog, you may have figured out that I'm a crazy dog owner. The kind who buys little gourmet treats every time they're at PetSmart for dog food, the kind who special orders fancy dog collars and leashes online, the kind whose dog has a special bed in every room of the apartment. We take pictures of him like this and show them off to people like he's our child:A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine was taking out her trash and found a tiny kitten hiding under the dumpster, mewing loudly. She took it home, bathed it and fed it. She decided it needed a home and started calling around.After one person backed out, she contacted me to see if I wanted a kitten. Absolutely not, I said. We're dog people. My husband and I have always owned dogs. I'm allergic to cats, with hay fever and asthma within hours of contact. I do not want the cat--I was firm.She was persistent. You have a bigger apartment, she said; we already have a cat, we can't really afford it, and we don't really have room, she said. Just take the cat for a night, she begged me; I'd rather know the cat went to a friend than to a shelter.My husband said no, we don't want a cat, you're allergic, and what if J-dog doesn't get along with it? Absolutely not.And so, the great cat experiment began about two weeks ago. We brought home a tiny kitty, weighing about 1.5 lbs. He's probably a Siamese mix; he's got long beige fur with dark ears, legs, and tail, stripes down his legs, and bright blue eyes. He has a few annoying habits, like climbing up our pants legs, biting our toes, and eating dog food.We initially thought he was a she, and so we hunted for a girl's name. Since my husband is a space geek, we looked into moons, stars, and constellations. We eventually agreed upon Callisto, which is one of Jupiter's moons; we'd call her Callie for short. We bought a purple collar. The vet disagreed with us, though, and assured us that the rather ambiguous genitalia indicated an XY genotype. Thus, we switched to a name that satisfied both our geekiness AND kitty's masculinity.

So now I have a dog who's having accidents in a corner, snapping at a kitty who climbs my scrub legs and nips my chin. My bathroom is dominated by an enormous mechanical litter box, and some nights I can't sleep due to the kitty crying in the bathroom, but I can't sleep with him climbing all over me and biting me in the underarm.There are some moments, like when he purrs under my chin and nuzzles up to me to take a nap, which is where he is right now. Who knew kitties were so soft? Or that purring was so endearing? The dog is just going to have to lump it, at least until I go crazy with all the animals and I take them all to the SPCA.

8 Random Facts About Me

I find myself tagged for yet another meme thingie, again by the fabulous MMWAK, this time to mention eight random things about myself. I will endeavor to make them as random as possible.

1) I get really irritated when people go to the symphony only to cough through the entire performance. Do they not realize that the acoustics of a symphony hall are such that the whole audience hears them? It seriously interfered with my ability to enjoy the music of "Lord of the Rings"!

2) I currently own a Jack Russell Terrier. When we get a house, we're going to get another dog, so he has a companion. I'm pushing for a long-haired miniature dachshund--they're a favorite with my family. My hubby wants a Sheltie.

3) I am currently re-re-re-re-re-reading my James Herriot collection. I love the stories about being a vet in 1930's England. Due to his writing, I was able to remember Brucella abortus--causes infectious abortion in cattle, infects people through unpasteurized milk, causes weird cyclic fevers in humans. If I ever write a novel, I picture myself doing it in a similar fashion, telling the stories that really happened to me.

4) I have most of my wedding pictures back, but I haven't taken them to be put into digital format so that my family can share in them. I am definitely the worst bride ever.

5) I have a real love for TV shows like CSI, CSI: Miami, Law & Order, Law & Order SVU, Law & Order CI, etc. I also used to watch a bunch of "real crime" shows on Court TV and "Dr. G, Medical Examiner" on Discovery Health. Despite all this, I never really considered a career in pathology. I'm not really sure why.

6) I survived getting vomited on during OB/Gyn to say that phlegm is still my least favorite bodily juice.

7) My name, my husband's name, and my dog's name all begin with the same letter. It was an accident--we really didn't consider it until after we'd named the dog. No, I will not make all my kids' names begin with the same letter.

8) I keep buying more plants for my patio, even though I've managed to kill a zinnia and possibly both my petunias this season--they keep getting overwatered since it won't freaking stop raining! We recently added a Mexican Heather (also called the Allison plant) and an aloe vera. I've had to stop myself from buying a bougainvillea--I think they are totally gorgeous, but I don't have any more hooks to hang one from.

If anyone's still reading this, I tag you. At the very least, I tag Ori at The Berry Patch, Gaucho, and Dr. Peanut.

Case of the Mondays

I am an irritable person. And it was Monday.

Point the first: Today was intro to "Family Medicine". It is no longer PC to call it "Family Practice". I wouldn't think anything of it, but after the lectures we had, it's almost like they're trying to remind the rest of us that FP is "real medicine".

Point the second: Our last lecture of the day was called "Family Medicine", and consisted of a doctor berating us for ever thinking that FP... I mean FM could be a) boring b) dull c) too easy d) too hard, or that family docs don't make any money, citing an example of a doc who works 8 months a year and makes $250k (I'm not sure what planet that doc practices on! The expected median in Houston is $158k).

I don't know why it is that so many family docs (certainly not all, but quite a few) get so freaking DEFENSIVE about family practice. "No, really, it's super awesome! Really! I swear!" I understand that primary care is necessary; I understand how some physicians find it fulfilling. I just find it extremely boring to manage "the same 20 diseases" over and over again. And just because you CAN perform an outpatient procedure, or deliver a baby, doesn't necessarily mean you SHOULD, Mr. "I do all my own procedures". Grrrr.

Point the third: It was an extremely useless day. We had 2 hours of lecture on "Behavioral Change", aka "why you should feel sorry for your patients who smoke." The first hour wasn't too bad: the lecturer was engaging, the topic was new, she made it interactive... The second hour was a rehash of the first, with a repeat of the exercise from the first hour. "Now, when you take a history, you should repeat what the patient says, to show you're listening! You can even repeat it back in DIFFERENT TERMS; it's called paraphrasing!"

I did Sudoku.

Point the fourth: These lectures were followed by a 2 hour lunch break. Why take a 2 hour lunch when you could take a 1 hour lunch and go home at 3 instead of 4? Inquiring minds want to know. We ate outside, and I got sunburned. Curses on my pastiness!

Point the fifth: I went to the gym tonight and hopped on the elliptical machine for a bit. The good ellipticals are hard to come by, so they limit your time to 30 minutes during busy times (like tonight). The machines are packed into a small space, and are therefore only about 1.5 feet apart.

A girl got on the one next to mine, which happened to be next to a close friend of hers (on her other side). He hopped off his machine and spent the next 30 minutes (of my workout) draped over the front end of her machine. Oh, did they have a great talk! I know this, because I could hear them over Nine Inch Nails and Christina Aguilera at top volume on my iPod.

During this time, he kept his leg draped over the elliptical he'd been using, so he was still "on" the machine, even though he was having such a fabulous conversation, effectively keeping everyone else off 1 of the 5 elliptical machines.

To make matters worse, he was all of 5 feet away from me, facing exactly my direction. I am not an attractive gym-goer. My face turns beet-red, I get visible sweat marks, my hair gets soaked, and my whole body jiggles (except what's inside my two sports bras). In other words, I look awful, and I'm extremely self-conscious about it. And I could not get over the fact that he was facing me, not looking politely in another direction, or better yet DOING HIS OWN GODDAMN WORKOUT.

Yes, I'm a cranky-pants, but is it too much to ask that everyone else get hot and sweaty, too, if they're at the gym? If you want social hour, and you're not going to work out while you do it, then go to a coffee shop for pete's sake and let me sweat in peace.

At least when I got home I had an ice cream sandwich waiting for me. Tasty!

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Does anyone else's dog or cat like to snuggle while you are on the toilet? J-dog came in with me after I got home from the gym and spent the time licking the sweat off my hand until I gave in and just petted him. What a dog.

It wasn't actually a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I just love that book a lot, and sometimes I remind myself of Alexander. At least I didn't have gum in my hair.

Spoiled Dog

My dog, J-dog, has been running around in a black leather collar with diamond-shaped metal studs for a couple of years now. One of the studs fell off a while back, and the leather is starting to look frayed, and I started feeling guilty that my dog looked so neglected.

Yes, I know.

A couple of months ago, I went to the large chain pet store where J-dog's vet is located to try to replace his collar. It's where I bought the current one, and they have an entire aisle devoted to dog collars, so I didn't think this was a futile task. One black leather dog collar with silver studs (not spikes, studs; this dog shares my bed, after all) coming up!

Except not.

Apparently the one collar this store doesn't carry is a black leather collar with studs. They carry patent leather collars, collars with bling, nylon Harley Davidson collars, collars that say "Princess" and "King", nylon collars in every color under the rainbow, rolled leather collars, collars with every type of spike... it goes on and on and on.

I checked back at this store earlier this week, with no luck again. So I ventured into the scary online world of the "pampered pet", where you can easily spend $150 for an alligator-skin dog collar. I found a reversible collar that says "Rocker" on one side and "Badass" on the other; nylon collars that say "Stud" and "Bitch"; even a collar called "Rose and Swarovski Crystal". In other words, the sky is the limit.

We ended up getting J-dog a cute collar (and matching lead) from this company. It's the one with the blue stars. He looks super handsome in blue.

Oh, and the picture at the top? That's him curled up on top of the cushions of a couch. The cushions for your back, not your butt. He's easily lying upon 3 solid feet of cushion. I didn't pose him for this picture; this is honestly where he prefers to be. He's currently lying on "his" papasan chair, under two blankets.

My poor, neglected dog.

/crazy dog lady

Something Cute

As I pulled into our apartment complex today, post-call, my husband was walking our dog nearby. After a moment, J-dog perked up, looked over at my car, started wagging his tail, and RAN over to the car, stopping right by my door as I parked. I guess he thought he was going for a ride.

It prompted me to think, how does he recognize our cars? He doesn't get excited by other cars. Is it a visual recognization? That would be difficult without color vision or knowledge of make/model/year. Is it smell? Does he smell me on the car? Does my smell come out the exhaust? I didn't have the windows open and I hadn't opened the door. I know he saw me through the window at some point, but I still wonder. He will also run to our cars while we're walking him. He LOVES going in the car, I think mostly because he and I traveled so much by car when I first had him.

Sometimes I am just amazed by my dog's cuteness, and I just have to share.

Crabby

Sorry to be such a grouch. Today wasn't nearly as bad. I think the real thing about my attending is that he is inconsistent: he treats some patients fearfully (let's order everything under the sun) and some with confidence (I know what they have and I can treat it, and they're well enough to go home). I love it when patients go home, and I have less work to do. (Kidding!) But it is a good thing when patients go home. The county hospital is definitely aromatic, and with 4 patients per room, separated only by curtains, very noisy as well. I wouldn't wish a prolonged stay in the county hospital on my enemies, let alone my patients.

Currently watching: the AKC Dog Show, Part II. My hubby has a real soft spot for these shows. I will totally confess to loving to watch beautiful, happy dogs prance around for the audience. Speaking of dogs, our dog is located on the papasan chair, buried under a pile of thick blankets with only the tip of his nose poking out. I really ought to take more pictures of stuff like this, so then people will have no doubt that I'm a crazy dog lady.

And in other news...

... J-dog has recovered fully from his injuries. Best of all, he no longer has to wear the cone. And, he has tiny scars which you can only see if you're looking for them, and which I'm sure will improve his chances with the ladies. Dog park, look out!

You shoulda seen the other guy...

This is my dog, J-dog. This picture was taken some point in time prior to last Friday, December 16, 2005. That was the day he had an unfortunate run-in with an American Bulldog who slipped his leash and pounced the unsuspecting 20-lb terrier. For once in his raucous little life, J-dog was not the initiator of the fight, and actually was the innocent bystander.

This is J-dog now:
















This is his right hind leg, where he had stitches. The holes are teethmarks:














He had X-rays which showed nothing broken, so he just had a stitch or two and was sent home with pain pills (woo!) and antibiotics (nasty dog mouth germs). We're going over to talk to the owner of the bulldog tonight, but she has already offered to pay his vet bills. She seems to actually care that her dog mawled ours, which is nice (the caring, not the mawling).

I think we're more upset by this than he is. The cone is cramping his style way more than the leg is. He's already learned how to walk, jump, climb up and down stairs, and use the cone to effectively beg for food and attention. If only we all had such steep learning curves!

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In other news, I finished my tests. They sucked. The end. Then, I went shopping! and bought a scarf to match my hat at the Gap (both in the pink stripe) and a cute black blazer at Target (properly pronounced tar-JAY when purchasing clothing there). I also purchased tons of birthday presents for friends; I just need to get my mom and stepdad's gift purchased and headed on its way up the Lonely Mountain.

That's about it. We leave for Arkansas on Tuesday, where we will visit the fiance's family. On Wednesday, we get to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra! And eventually, we will open many presents, hop back into the hatchback, and head back home. Good times.